Sex is a rather…touchy subject, if you’ll excuse the pun. It’s one of those things that you go into without really knowing what to expect; will it be good or bad? Will you please your partner? These are just some of the questions that you ask yourself. For some couples, this lack of information creates an air of mystery and excitement; they relish the idea of trying something new, getting to experiment a bit and figure things out as they go.
In others, a lack of information brings with it a certain level of anxiety which may lead to erectile dysfunction or a mutually disappointing performance.
With all this in mind, here are ten ways that men can increase their sexual performance.
- Exercise and change your diet
Healthy living, in general, is a good idea. Exercise and a healthy diet keep you fit and make you feel good about yourself; giving you a nice little confidence boost. A good dose of exercise and a healthy meal also works to make sure that your body is working properly.
- Have a chat
Having a chat with your partner about sexual fantasies, likes and dislikes, positions, and stuff like that might sound a bit…odd. Sex isn’t an easy topic to broach, particularly if you’re in a relationship for the first time but communication is an important factor in everything we do – including in the bedroom.
It’ll be a bit weird at the start but these discussions will help to improve your relationship overall. You’re showing a level of trust to each other and making yourselves vulnerable. Knowing what you both like and dislike also allows for a level of creativity which can help significantly!
- Switch things around
Speaking of creativity, switching things up in the bedroom from time to time is a common suggestion and it’s easy to see why. Doing the same thing over and over again loses its novelty very quickly. Trying out different positions, letting your partner take charge, introducing toys and changing locations are good ways to switch things up.
Changing things in the bedroom and experimenting with new tricks can make things fun and exciting when sex has become boring.
- Focus on intimacy
I’m not saying forget about the climax but don’t make that the end-goal. Sex is meant to be an intimate, pleasurable experience for both participants. With that in mind, stay relaxed and focus on that intimacy you and your partner are sharing.
Spend more time on the foreplay and let the excitement build. Now, when I say ‘spend more time on foreplay’ I’m talking about the long game not, just the fun and games immediately preceding intercourse. Spend time together, play games, have a drink and a good meal together. Kiss, cuddle and tease your partner; let the excitement between the two of you build.
The excitement and sense of security can make for some intense fun.
- Sleep Well
As silly as this one sounds, it’s important. A lack of sleep results in low energy levels, a lack of enthusiasm and, frankly, a lack of desire. You’re just too tired to do anything more than a quick kiss. All that’s without going into the health risks associated with sleep deprivation.
Sleeping well gives you the energy to either really heat things up for your partner and go wild or just have a slow-burning night together.
- Stress Management
The stresses of day to day life may lead to performance-related difficulties. Taking a few minutes/hours to chill out and do something different can help you to relax a bit and ease your mind so that you aren’t so stressed anymore. Listen to some music or read a book; things that you enjoy doing provide a healthy outlet for dealing with stress.
You can also manage stress by planning – although it should be noted that this doesn’t always work out, keeping your expectations/workload realistic and just generally staying as calm as possible. If needed you can try meditation or breathing exercises to ease the tension you’re experiencing and calm your mind.
Something else that’s commonly suggested for men to boost their performance is to masturbate. The idea is to improve your endurance. This can also be done with a partner; making for some interesting experiences.
- Careful Practice
The phrase: “practice makes perfect” exists for a reason. The more often you do something, the better and easier it gets. Frequent or regular sex allows you to get comfortable with the whole experience and builds confidence. This increased confidence and comfortability makes it a bit easier when you and your partner want to experiment.
You are comfortable with sex and are willing to experiment and learn more which ties into the point I made about ‘adding excitement’ to your sex life and, in turn, leads to a better performance.
A reasonable amount of caution should be exercised with sex in general. To put it politely: your equipment is fragile and can easily be damaged or broken. This shouldn’t put you off of the idea of sex but it is important to know.
- Sex Therapy
Counseling or therapy will be a little awkward initially – discussing your sex life with a stranger usually is – but if all else fails then this might help you out.
Talking to a sex therapist will help pinpoint exactly what the problem might be if there is one, and allow you to work on it. Working through sex-oriented problems will aid in boosting confidence, self-esteem/self-worth and help get you more comfortable. This makes it easier to please both yourself and your partner.
According to a 2007 study by Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Health published in the American Journal of Medicine, more than 18 million men in the USA are affected by erectile dysfunction. One factor of this is the fear of humiliation at the hands of one’s partner regarding their performance.
- Taking Viagra
Sometimes more powerful methods are needed. Sildenafil ( otherwise known as Viagra) is a medication that helps men with erectile dysfunction achieve an erection. This occurs when the nervous system releases nitric oxide into the tissue of the penis. The nitric oxide helps in the production of cyclic guanosine monophosphate which dilates the arteries in the penis. The arteries and tissue fill with blood and an erection occurs.
Viagra is also used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension. As such the dosages will vary and you’ll have to speak to a doctor regarding whether or not you should take it and how much to take. In terms of side-effects, there are a few but some of the common ones are headaches, a blocked nose and, indigestion. Be sure to buy from a trusted pharmacy when using Viagra.
Most of these methods mainly focus on the mental side of sexual activity than the physical. They are commonly suggested because they work well. Remember: the key to a good performance is a good state of mind.