There is nothing like a heartfelt conversation with the people who are most important to you and love you unconditionally. It relaxes our mind and soothes our soul to share our deepest secrets and feelings with someone who understands us and does not judge us. The problem arises when one of the persons starts leading a very different life; no matter how hard you try, you are unable to convey your feelings to them or understand their point of view.
For an addict, life is already very confusing and complicated. He is not in his proper state of mind. He is not able to understand his own feelings and situation, let alone explain someone else about his feelings. Apart from the confusion, an addict is also going through the phase where he is filled with guilt, shame and, remorse. He feels responsible for his miserable life, and also feels shameful that he has disappointed his loved ones. Other than feeling conscious, an addict also goes through the phase of helplessness and frustration of being judged.
For family and friends, it is much more than that. Yes, of course, they feel both angry and disappointed, but most of all, they feel helpless. Even they go through the guilt of feeling not capable enough to recognize the addiction at the initial stage. They blame themselves for not listening to your cry for help. They feel that they did not do enough, or failed to create to space for you to talk about your problems. For someone who knew the real person behind an addict, it kills them not knowing how you feel. No matter how much they try, they can never completely empathize with an addict unless they have not been in the same situation.
Trying to communicate in the situation where you both fail to understand each other can be really difficult and complicated. Here are some solutions as for how to understand each other’s point of view and how to interact:
- While dealing with your loved one who is an addict, it is important that you make them feel like you believe in them. Even if you have your doubts in your heart, you should avoid being verbal about them. Your discouragement will only weaken their strength and willingness to fight their addiction. While dealing with them, you should keep aside your own personal feelings and try to understand the trauma they are going through. You can click here to learn how to handle these situations without hurting yourself or your loved one.
- Being an addict, your helplessness is quite understandable. But you should also know that your loved ones are also suffering, although their suffering is very different from yours. They deserve to know that they are not sacrificing their time, effort and love for nothing. If you cannot lessen their pain, you can at least be loyal and honest to them. Withdrawal is hard, and they definitely try to understand that. But in case of a relapse, you should definitely confide in them and allow them to help you. As long as you are honest with them, they will never lose their hope and believe that you can overcome this obstacle.